I think that I've illegitimately turned down more opportunities for parties and hanging out in the past 2 weeks than I have ever in my whole life, and considering that I've only turned down 3 events, that's saying something. One of those events, I just turned down less than 5 minutes ago.
The first one was 2 of my friends' Sweet Sixteen party, which I felt bad about not only because it was their birthday and I didn't give them an RSVP telling them that I couldn't come, I just didn't show up. I also felt bad because the only reason that I didn't go was because I thought that I'd feel weird around the people that I was pretty sure were going to be there, simply because I've been going through awkward splitting-apart phases with some of them. When I later looked back at the pictures on Facebook, it didn't look half as bad as I thought it would, and I'm now sad that I didn't go.
The next two events, being more spontaneous, I didn't feel as bad about saying no to them. Still, I feel bad, and I honestly am wondering if my increasingly awkward social persona is going to be something that I will later regret, because I've already begun to regret it now. So perhaps the question I should pose to myself is: am I actually taking on this "new" persona, or is it just a matter of the mind, and I'm actually no more awkward than anyone else?
Another factor of having a social life is the getting there part, which would be much easier were I not a 16.5 year old who still had yet to get their temps. 'Nuff said.
Although, maybe I just like spending time by myself, and summer is the only time that I actually get a lot of me-time? It's a thought.
I'm also a tad bit sad because in approximately an hour and a half, my favorite band, Tenth Avenue North, is going to be performing at the Alive Festival.
And guess who doesn't get to see them? *tear*
There's always next year. :]
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